January: RWE announces the shutting down of all its coal-fired plants with immediate effect. “Survival has to come first, profit second”. German power prices see record levels.
February: George Bush’s skiing trip is cancelled. No snow in Aspen.
March: UK dumps GDP in favour of National Happiness Score (NHS).
April: A spell of very cold weather in continental Europe. Knitting becomes Germany’s most popular sport.
May: China makes Buddhism the official religion in place of Communhism. Next day two billion trees are planted.
June: California launches “Walk to work” campaign. Take up is initially slow.
July: Two billion more trees planted in China. CO2 levels fall to worryingly low levels in Inner Mongolia. California launches “First you put your left foot forward” campaign.
August: George Bush’s summer holiday to Hawai is postponed. Heavy snow falls make the island inaccessible. California launches “Then you put your right foot forward” campaign.
September: First UK Happiness Budget issued. Excise on alcohol eliminated, massive hikes in fuel taxes. Home brewing becomes England’s most popular sport.
October: Richard Branson converts to Catholicism.
November: US elections brought forward a year, George Bush finally manages to make that holiday.
December: In his Christmas address on “Creation” the Pope declares that flying is a sin.
