Proof beyond any doubt whatsoever

The standard of scientific proof required by today’s sophisticated voters is high. Correctly so. Empires, stockholdings – and options -, executive privileges, mansions, jets, limousines, and walk-in fridges – are essentials of life which must be protected from the whims of policymakers. Quite right that any measure which might tarnish the gloss on these totem poles should be scrutinised in laborious detail. Pesky threats to our well-being must be held at bay until it is absolutely clear they are grounded in the scientific rigour of an Einstein.

“Polarbears aren’t really starving, they’re just lean and mean.”

“Well, come with me Mr Bush and let’s see for real if they are.”

….

“Look over there, there’s a polar bear swimming towards us”

“How do you know it’s a polar bear?”

“Well, just look, it’s quite close now.”

“It could be anything out for a swim. I’m not convinced it’s a polar bear.”

“It’s looking really ravenous”

“Naw, it’s just smiling. Probably pleased to see us”

“It’s pretty desperate actually”

“How can you be so sure, what do you know about polar bears.?”

“Just take a look, he’s really close now”

“It’s perfectly safe (whatever it is). I see no proof of desperate hunger.”

“He’s trying to climb onto our boat. Watch out!”

“Hold on let me get some snaps of this cute animal to take home”

“Watch out, he’s going for you!”

Bump.

Thud.

Splash.

Crunch. Slobber. Gulp.

Cut to camera strap with Sony logo, floating in the waves.

The proof is in the eating.

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